


The Night Before

by fictionaldowney



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-21
Updated: 2014-05-21
Packaged: 2018-01-26 01:30:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1669727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictionaldowney/pseuds/fictionaldowney
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony contemplates the surgery that will remove the arc reactor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Night Before

Steam filled the now silent bathroom. The shower was off and he was simply basking in the heat being held in the room. He walked to the mirror and wiped it with his hand, his face coming into slightly distorted view as it began to fog over once more…but not even the film over the mirror was enough to hide the blue glow coming from his chest.

"Well, no cutting myself while shaving anymore, I suppose," Tony mumbled to himself. He was naked, save for a towel wrapped around his waist, the reactor his only other…accessory. He remembered the first time he'd try to properly shave, the light bouncing off the mirror into his eyes and his hand slipping, cutting just below his chin. "Pro number one," he continued. "Number two, I won't have to sleep with a shirt on anymore to keep the light pollution at bay." As the mirror began to clear properly, he didn't take his eyes off of his reflection. He refused to look down at the reactor and forced himself to look into his own eyes. "Number three, no more blinding Pepper in the dark," he smiled, "when she undresses me or we switch positions."

He stood silent for a few moments. He had promised himself he'd think things through one more time before the procedure in the morning. His mind was already set and he wasn't quite sure what brought on this junior high mentality of listing things out, but he found it necessary. He closed his eyes and when he opened them, once again met by his own face, more words came.

"Con…it's been a part of me for five years and it saved my life. Without it I either wouldn't be here or I'd be the same narcissistic ass I was then." He turned away, then looked back, having a conversation with myself. "Okay, fine, I'm still a narcissistic ass, but a less of one, uh, from time to time." He walked to the door and opened it a crack to check on Pepper. She was asleep in their temporary bedroom, her face looking more at peace than it had in weeks. "It…gave me you," he whispered, closing the door back over. "I mean, obviously it didn't give you to me, but it made me depend on you in an entirely different way, which led me to getting to know you in a more intimate way…well that sounds awful and I'm pretty sure it's not what I mean. Con, er, pro?" He growled and sat on the edge of the tub that he and Pepper had enjoyed thoroughly that morning. "Doesn't matter. I have her…no, she has me and this thing," he tapped at the device implanted in his chest, "isn't going to make a bit of…"

He smiled again, fully this time, his charm oozing into the room with nobody there to see it. "It's going to make all the difference, isn't it? Less obsession, less time in the lab – not giving that up completely, of course – but less of it. More time for her, for us…living. Huh, I've never really done that before…had a 'normal' life, sure it's more privileged than most, but…does normal exist for someone like me? For someone who…" His smile faded as his thoughts went back to New York. He had gotten his panic under control, but not the chills that would still course through his veins. He looked down at his chest, anger in his eyes. "You did that to me. You made me go up there, see things…" His hands ran through his damp locks. "…saved my life then almost let me kill myself and for what? For…"

Tears spilled from Tony's eyes. This wasn't exactly unusual since his "experience", but hated that it happened. "For all those people. I helped to save all those people…" He got up and rushed to the mirror, anger and pride and compassion jumbled together in his eyes. "…and I would do it again, with or without you. You're not going to matter anymore. Suits don't need you inside me to run, my brain doesn't need you to think…you're keeping garbage out of my heart and tomorrow it's going to be gone for good! No job for you anymore, pal!"

"Tony?" Pepper called to him from the bedroom. "What's going on in there? Are you okay?"

"Nothing, honey, I'm good. Be there in a sec." He dropped the towel and walked to the other side of the room, going to the full-length mirror he'd been avoiding this whole time. His body battle scarred, but in tact, he narrowed his eyes at himself. "Pro: _I_ am Iron Man," he focused on the reactor, "not you."

 


End file.
